Bits and Pieces

Daddy has always been tough. He grew up on a farm, and farmed up until my brother was born. He went to work with Southern Railway I guess the same year Buddy was born (1967), and stayed there until the early nineties. He survived having a car back over him, and then in 1979 having a train drag him down a track and roll over his leg. He went thru years of amputations and deadly infections. Years of hard rehab. I never saw him cry. I remember taking him for physical therapy when I was only 9 and wondering how he could stand the pain. He endured so much, and still managed to hold down a full time job all those years (which is why I get so angry at all the people on public assistance, but that's another story).

Just before the holidays I decided to ride to the Galleria to look for a couple of things. I asked my Dad if he wanted to go, and I was surprised when he said yes. We got to the mall and it was almost like a veil was lifted from my eyes. I saw my Dad who was always so strong.....now as a frail, old man. I was scared to let him walk too far from me: Afraid he might fall or someone might bump into him. I noticed his neck is wrinkled the same way his Mama's is. I wondered when he got so old. Every week Mama and I see the changes. A conversation we had a day before that he can't remember. An idea he gets stuck in his head and that's all we hear that day. A remark we make and Daddy gets it completely twisted around. I think these are the bits and pieces that are breaking away. It's not old age, it's different. He shakes so bad now he can't eat with a fork. If anything....and I mean anything....happens, he cries so hard he can't talk. It makes me angry that things can't be different and he and Mama can't travel the world during these years. It makes me sad that one day I know he might not remember me. I wonder if I'll be like him one day.

This is what family means. When you are family and you love each other, you take care of each other no matter what. You don't hope someone else will come and rescue you from your trouble. You pull together, keep your head down and plow thru. As long as I live and breathe, I hope I can take care of my family....in whatever little I can do.